I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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