Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
