Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
