I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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