I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Welp...herpes.
my sisters under your porch take her home
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize