Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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