South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize