Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
