5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
