i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
