i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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