Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the day after is always just damage control
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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