he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
