i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
