Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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