if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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