Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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