3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can I color on your dick again?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
