You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize