You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
