Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
