toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
