i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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