When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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