Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
