So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
This toilet bowl is my home.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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