i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
