Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
