So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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