That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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