He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
as a side note pls kill me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
