the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
