it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
