Please don't use social media to get back at me.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
