man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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