dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
