I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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