I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just had sex on a roof
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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