I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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