Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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