Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
