the day after is always just damage control
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
