he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
