Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
