you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
