The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish i was in the wii world.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize