btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
