All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
