i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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