i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize