Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
