lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
