Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
