Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
