She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
