I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
