And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
