one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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