Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
