Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize