I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
false alarm. still invincible.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
