Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
