what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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